gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
the liver wants what the liver wants
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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