i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
