Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
