I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
