He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
