you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
