I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
