You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
