My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
