And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
