Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
