They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize