I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize