I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
