im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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