Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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