i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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