that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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