i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
