I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
