I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize