that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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