Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
