I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
