Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
