i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize