Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
