Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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