so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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