Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
