At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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