I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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