dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
