Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
