just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
