so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
