so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
