the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
