i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
