I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
