why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize