why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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