You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
