Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
