I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
