is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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