i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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