Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
