how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
