xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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