yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
