I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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