dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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