Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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