she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
