my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love you.
Bad choice
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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