She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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