Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
