i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize