these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
