i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize