She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
