I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The power of my boobs compel you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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