So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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