Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
